Our inaugural “Pimps Up, Homelessness Down” fundraiser is tonight at the Moose Lodge. Dollar hot dogs and a cash bar will be available for all who attend. The cover charge is $5 in advance and $7 at the door. D.J. Krazy Kevvy will be spinning all your favorite tunes. So far we have only sold 9 tickets.
For those who are too cheap to buy tickets, don’t think you can just stroll in without paying. I know that Jerry is a board member and he thinks all members should be able to bypass the cover, but I have rented the entire hall. Your membership means nothing tonight. Al Jordan assured me that there will be penalties for those who neglect this club rule.
Who’s the dumbass for hiring Kevin Jordan to DJ now, Jerry?