HomelessPimps.com is dedicated to eridacating the epidemic of homlessness by not allowing society to look away.
Our passion has always been to help people. What a blessing it will be if our dream becomes a reality. Every single person in the city of Philadelphia can instantly have a job in times of need and everyone can have a roof over their head.
I, Donald Blackburn and my partner Biscuit Dollapacca have always been concerned for the welfare of the homeless. As young men, we volunteered in soup kitchens and witnessed the plight upfront. We felt fully engaged until there was an unfortunate Shigella outbreak and we were not allowed to volunteer anymore. We knew there had to be another way we could help. Since we were not legally allowed to feed the homeless ever again, we decided to put more focus on the dressing, sheltering and employment aspects of the problem.
We then realized that everyone wanted to help, but no one was even thinking about potentially eliminating the problem completely. We simply couldn’t get much buzz going. The average city person spends their life trying to pretend that they don’t see a foul smelling homeless man at their Septa stop. You can’t possibly miss it, but yet we pretend that they aren’t there. We couldn’t figure it out until one day, Bonnie Raitt’s “Let’s Give ‘Em Something to Talk About” came on the radio. That’s when it hit us. If they just smelled less and dressed better, people would help them out.
How would they dress? We still have to know that they need help, but the clothes also need to be attractive to the eye. We went to the company that makes uniforms (we are not legally allowed to mention the company’s name here, but it’s a big one) to see what our options were in second hand uniforms. School boy uniforms seemed inappropriate, plus AC/DC already did it. Stained hospital uniforms put us at risk for another Shigella incident. We are learning.
Nothing seemed flashy enough. When we told the clerk exactly what we were looking for, we were asked to leave and we were removed from the property.
We realized that we won’t find what we need at some rude uniform conglomerate. Then we saw the Snoop Doggy Dog scene in Old School. We knew if we dressed the homeless like Snoop’s friend in that movie we could generate a lot of attention.
So there you have it. We plan to dress the homeless of the City of Philadelphia like 70’s street pimps. People would immediately stop ignoring them. Tourists would stop coming here for the cream cheese factory that I’ve never seen, and start coming here to see the homeless and the Liberty Bell. Homeless revenue would rise and they would get off the streets. It’s a natural progression. Plus, any person who was down on their luck could just put on a pimp suit for extra money. Kind of like Uber.
Our first step is simple. We have written a feature length script starring our friend Archbishop Slappy. Hopefully, this will create enough awareness to raise the money to dress the homeless of Philadelphia like pimps. But first, we need to raise the money for the movie. It costs a million dollars to make a movie. So we need you to go to kickstarter and donate to our movie so that we can create the awareness to be able to raise the money for the clothes and admistration expenses to eliminate homelessness.
Also, the script is great. A divinely inspired idea deserves the perfect script.
Thank you in advance for your support. Please respond to the contact section if you choose to also send a prayer or blessing.
Don and Biscuit
In order to accomplish our mission, we need to create awareness of our new paradigm approach to the problem. We have created a feature length script based on our most successful story…Archbishop Slappy!
Where you come in
We need you to donate to our Kickstarter. In order to fund the movie, we need $500,000 minimum from you! Hopefully, we can use our newly found fame to create enough of a donation base to dress all of the homeless of Philadelphia like 70’s street pimps. By turning them into a tourist attraction, we can help them afford a place to live and food to eat. You can help make a difference!